


meet me by the dumpsters

by punchthesky



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Ryan is easily spooked, Shane is ... not human, Steven is also present, but right, coffee shop AU, like I don't go here or write fics, they don't bone they just swear a lot, they make no coffee, thus the teen rating, uhhhh this is nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 23:03:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19072477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punchthesky/pseuds/punchthesky
Summary: He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. His ragged, wheezy breath coming in uneven spurts. Every muscle in his body tense, ready to run from the horrible sight in front of him.It was 1:43 AM and Ryan faced down the dumpsters like a man headed to the gallows.***************In which Ryan is terrified, Shane is sneaky, and Steven Lim is also present.





	meet me by the dumpsters

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write fic or really live in this fandom but here's this absolutely not serious mess. I too am scared of dumpsters like Ryan is (in this fic at least. Also probably in real life. idk) and I wanted him to be valid for once. If anyone reads this pls be nice, it's my first time ;)
> 
> Also disclaimer, I don't know them, they're real people and I know nothing about that. This is purely based on their public personas in videos and is definitely not real life.

He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. His ragged, wheezy breath coming in uneven spurts. Every muscle in his body tense, ready to run from the horrible sight in front of him. 

It was 1:43 AM and Ryan faced down the dumpsters like a man headed to the gallows. 

A few feet behind him, a door banged open, metal clanging against metal. Ryan shot a few feet up into the air.

“Jesus fucking Christ you’re still standing there? We thought you died.” Called Steven from the safety of the all-night coffee shop. “Seriously, hurry up!” Ryan stared at his friend, who was bathed in light and warmth and safety. 

“Fuck you.” 

Steven laughed semi-manically and shut the door, leaving Ryan to face his fear alone. 

“Okay,” Ryan began muttering to himself, “It’s just a dumper. A terrifying, haunted as fuck dumpster, but just a dumpster. I’m brave. I’m tough.” The dumpsters were in a dark fenced-in area behind the cafe, you know, the kind where a body could sit for days until it’s found. The parking lot lights didn’t quite reach all the way out here, and as he got closer and closer to the dumpster he was surrounded with more and more darkness. Shadows everywhere. 

He approached the locked gate and quickly opened it, using the keys he had clenched in his fist, pointy side out. They’d be no use on a ghost, but just in case a prowler came onto the scene, he was ready. He flung the door open and stood staring at the dumpsters in the enclosure. Two of them, one on either side, a narrow walkway between them. Gathering up all of his courage, he strode up to the first dumpster, threw open the lid, and hurled the trash bags inside. 

“There. Not so bad.” He mumbled to himself, reaching up on his tiptoes to close the lid. As he did he began to feel eyes staring at his back, he knew he wasn’t alone. Shaking, he gently closed the lid and turned around. 

Nothing. 

Laughing a little, he started to walk out of the enclosure when the dumpster lid he had so carefully closed a few moments before burst up and slammed onto the other side of the dumpster. The loud clanging echoed through the night, and Ryan got the fuck out of there. He ran into the coffee shop, past Steven who was standing near the door texting, and right into the employee break room. 

Empty. He ran out to the front of the shop where they innocently sold coffee to tired college kids and single moms, unaware that a mere 20 feet away from them a real ghost stalked the night. Shane was behind the counter, wiping up the crumbs in the pastry case. Ryan rushed up to him to tell him about that very ghoul who tried to steal his soul tonight.  
“I have real proof tonight.”

Shane tossed the rag he was using down and stood up to his full height, towering over Ryan, “Oh hello, Ryan! Well yes, I am well, and how might you be this fine evening?”

“Cut the shit, I saw a ghost out there this time, I swear.” 

Shane took in Ryan’s wild eyes, his chattering teeth, the tense line of his shoulders. He put his hands on both of Ryan’s shoulders, looking him fully in the eye. 

“Did you really see a ghost?”

“Yes!”

“With your eyeballs?”

“Well no, okay, but! But! The dumpster lid flew open by itself! That can’t just happen!” 

Shane let his arms drop to his sides. “You mean you didn’t close the lid the right way and when the wind blew it came open?”

“It was not the fucking wind, dude. No way. It was a ghost.” 

Shane honestly, truly, genuinely liked Ryan. He was a good coworker, never overly annoying on shift and he pulled his weight. And he liked that they’d struck up a good friendship on the late-night shift together. And hell, he even liked how excited about little spooks he got. But this is bullshit, and he was seriously freaked out over it. 

“Ryan. You must know, this is bullshit.”

Ryan started to interrupt, but Shane put up a finger. “Wait, wait, wait, let me guess, you also felt like you were being watched? There was an oppressive environment? Did something rustle?” 

“Dude seriously, fuck you. Something happened, I saw it, I know what I saw.”

“You saw a dumpster! The same dumpster you see every night and the same dumpster you tried to convince me last week was a portal to hell! It’s just a dumpster, my friend.” Shane turned to finish cleaning up the display case, “You gotta stop taking the trash out this late, bud, just ask me or Steven to do it. I don’t know why you torture yourself like this.” 

Ryan glared at his friend, well, his mostly-friend. Work type friend. Friend who he wanted to kill right now. Friend he kind of wanted to bone right now. It was like a 50/50 split between killing and boning. “Focus, Ryan, you’re so close.” he thought to himself. He waited a beat. 

“Yeah well, if you’re so sure it’s nothing, there’s another bag that needs to be taken out. Why don’t you do it, big guy?” 

Shane straightened up again, handing Ryan the rag. “Yes, I will 100% do that because it’s 100% better than listening to your insanity. When nothing happens, will you please calm down? You’re scaring all the customers.” He made a sweeping gesture to the area with cafe tables strewn about. Ryan looked. The only person in the shop right now was a 20-year-old biochem major who came there every night, enticed by the 24-hour service and the unlimited WiFi access. He had never said more than a: “One large coffee, please. Thank you.” to either of them. He had very large headphones on and was facing away from them. The rest of the tables were empty.

“Yeah, the customers, I’m real fucking concerned. Come on, dude! Take the trash out, you’ll fucking see.” 

Shane shook his head lightly as he made his way past Ryan and towards the entrance to the employee-only portion of the shop. He used his back to push the door open and held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, man. We’ll fucking see.” 

***************

Shane, a normal and sane person, was not afraid of taking out the trash at night. He grabbed the bag of trash from the kitchen, nodded at Steven who was still standing by the door texting, and went outside. 

Honestly, the night air was kind of refreshing. Seeing Ryan all worked up like that made him feel very unprofessional about his work buddy, and the cold air helped him calm back down. “So much excitement in such a small man.” He muttered to himself as he approached the dumpster area. Ryan had, of course, left the door to the enclosure wide fucking open.

“Man, we could get raccoons in here. Bears maybe. Why is he never worried about the right thing?” He shrugged a little to himself as he walked into the enclosure, and threw the trash bag into the dumpster with the open lid. He paused just a moment before reaching up slightly and flopping the dumpster lid closed. It smacked down with a satisfying sound. He stepped back and waited a few moments. The lid started to rise back up. Shane quirked an eyebrow.

“Jerome, I swear, stop scaring Ryan like that.” 

The spirit of what was once a very mediocre hippie with a very lame name rose up from the dumpster. He was barely visible in the dim light. 

“Sorry, Shane.” He whispered, his voice like the echo of a song, carried gently on the night’s breeze that tickled Shane’s face. 

“Seriously, man, it’s bullshit. Ya can’t go around spooking employees. That’s so rude. Also, Ryan clocked ya right away, he knows there’s a ghost out here and I can’t keep him in the dark forever.”

Jerome floated down slightly to convey he was chastised. 

“Also, stop hanging out in dumpsters! That can’t be good for your self-esteem! Go somewhere nicer than this!” 

Jerome perked up. “You release me? I’ve been stuck in this dumpster since I died here, but if someone of your standing released me…” 

“What? Yeah sure, you’re released.” Shane started to turn to go back inside but stopped. “Hey, not to get too personal, but how did you die anyway?”

Jerome floated away from the dumpster. “Oh, I was out here smoking and someone snuck up behind me, injected heroin into my arm, and I overdosed.” 

“That really sucks.”

“Yeah man, they never even caught the guy. It blows. Anyway, I’m going to get out of here, good luck with your friend and stuff. Tell him to stop leaving this place unlocked, that’s how I got injected with heroin, you know.” Shane nodded and watched as Jerome disappeared into the night, free to go wherever ghosts go when they aren’t trapped in dumpsters and terrorizing small men. 

He walked out of the enclosure, locked the door, and went back inside. 

Steven looked away from his phone when he walked in. “Dude, you released Jerome? I liked Jerome.” 

“He can’t keep scaring Ryan, eventually he’d find some proof of something and it would be awful for all of us.” 

“Yeah right, you just hate to see your little human scared. Oh, boo-hoo, ghosts are real! Pffftttt, get over it already.” Steven laughed to himself and held out his fist for a fist bump. 

Shane did not fist bump him. 

Shane shook his head and walked back to the front of the shop, ready to endure another few hours of denying ghosts and demons and everything else exist to a very, very, insistent man.  
He smiled a little to himself, “Weeellllllllll, maybe I can find a way to distract him...”

********************

Weeks later they’re curled up on the couch together, watching some exhausting film Ryan was assigned for class. Out of the blue he asks, “What are you afraid of?”

Shane answers honestly, for once. “Well, Ryan, I am afraid that in the night a man will sneak up behind me, inject me with heroin, and I will either become addicted to heroin or die of an overdose.” 

Ryan laughs so hard he falls off the couch, just managing to wheeze out, “Sure, but ghosts are unreasonable! *Wheeze* Ghosts are so much more likely than that! Oh my god. It’s so - it’s so dumb. *Wheeze* Oh my god. What the fuck, Shane.” 

Shane isn’t laughing, but he is smiling down at the other man.


End file.
